I Was Taken (For) A Bath...
#3 Hit for 1week - Top 40 Hit for
First hit the Top 40, 06/30/58
Darin's 1st of 4 Gold Records
PART OF THE FUN.... PART OF THE VENUE
Similar to going to a football game, the fun...
equal to, if not greater than -- in attending a concert comes from the tailgating that occurs for hours before or after
the event. For a 3 hour concert of 3 acts, it's safe to say that 3-5 hours might be spent in the parking lot...
For this reason, it escapes logic why
permanent toilets are not required by city, town, and state building and health ordinances in lots where more time is
spent than in the venue where permanent facilities are built. The Tweeter Center is a permanent facility, even
if it is used seasonally. To me, a parking lot is an integral part of the venue, especially in the case of The
Tweeter Center where there really are no alternative parking facilities (excepting a few sharp Ma 'n Pa entrepreneurs willing
to savage their crabgrass for big bucks).
DEFINITELY NOT TODAY'S WAY
Let's be honest: A port-a-toilet
leaves more than a lot to be desired. It is nothing but a fiberglass outhouse... a cheap, unacceptable,
throwback solution to a basic personal need. (Please, hold the e-mail
about ancient Roman public defecation, Louis XIV's toilet court, present third world country sanitation, and how you
grew up on a farm in the 1900 with only an outhouse... This is the 21st Century in America.)
Name a person you know that likes port-a-johns!
Times up. They are despised by all, especially women who must face a ridiculous cup size urinal at eye/nose
level... and who are denied by sitting the slight air from the open slots at the top. ( Where's N.O.W. when
it's needed? Clearly, a man designed this hovel! ) Then again, whatever happened to those noble concepts
of Mens' / Ladies' Rooms and pottie-parity laws due to biological necessity?
Additionally, trade union should not
allow them on job sites lasting more than a few days, because they take work away from union plumbers...
FOR THERE IS NO PLUMBING!
No water to wash... No flushing... No
And, one will never see this sign inside one:
"Employees Must Wash After Using"
That's because they can't wash! And
by law, that's illegal! In fact, it's not only illegal to not have water; it's illegal to not have hot water for
A DOLLAR WILL DO
If some nimble spokesperson claims
that The Tweeter Center employees do have these required "privileges/amenities/requirements," then one must ask, "What
about the paying patrons?" Isn't this then a double standard? I think so...
The only "plumbing" in The Tweeter
Center parking lots is that patrons are getting hosed! LIMOS ARE CHARGED $30.00/VEHICLE; YET THE DISTANT LIMO AREA PARKING
HAS THE WORST ACCESS TO SANI-KANS.*
Certainly, some portion of all ticket sales
contribute to covering the parking lot overhead. With tickets starting above $40 dollars, no one will
abstain from the next Bon Jovi concert for another $1.00 per ticket, if that's what it takes to balance out the profit
margins. That's probably $15,000 dollars, on average per concert, into better sewage services.
Today, for the most part, limos for concerts
/ events don't connote a high society "entrance," but a tuxedoed (maybe) designated driver. The passengers have
been drinking the entire trip to the venue... In fact, approaching the venue, one can see limos pulled over on 495 for pitstops.
Having stopped or not, by the time anyone reaches the parking lot, bursting bladders require immediate available facilities,
not ones which are "single holers" a football field away. Patrons who travel by car may have travelled for
hours to get the venue. They have the same needs. (We who have self-contained RVs understand the creature
comforts of such travel.)
Given the biological need, especially with
the consumption of high volume liquids** such as beer, it's hardly confounding that the entire parking lot becomes a toilet.
*As an interesting aside... one must also ask
why motorcycles obtain the premium spots along the inner circle and in the limo area where handicap parking seems more
**As a more interesting aside, if
people "did" shots rather than drink beer, the urine volume would decrease 92% for the same same buzz level... and
I might have no report!